yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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