I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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