Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize