dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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