Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize