So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
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