I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize