he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize