She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
It was confusing and full of hummus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize