They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize