If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
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I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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