porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize