I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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