grandma shit on top of the toilet
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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