playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize