why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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