the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
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