Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize