Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
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Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
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Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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