Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
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