I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
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She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
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I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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