I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize