we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
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I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
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Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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