barbara walters just said penis...
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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