you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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