If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
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