She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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