I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
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Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
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I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
soo... how was my night?
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