I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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