This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
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You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
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I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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