I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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