Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize