i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Is it penis luge time yet?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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