Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Need sex. Gaining weight.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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