Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize