is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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