He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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