Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
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I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
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All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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