What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I should be sponsored by Trojan
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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