A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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