So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize