Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
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I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
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I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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