Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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