just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
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She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
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yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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