I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
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