It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
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he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
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Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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