I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
How's work?
Spinning.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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