She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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