I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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