if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
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